Pain vs Pleasure this Valentines Day

Pain vs. Pleasure this Valentine’s Day

What happens to the romance when pain interferes with sexual pleasure?

(Pinellas Park, Fla.) February 9, 2010 – Relationships can be complicated enough – add back or neck pain to what could be a magical Valentine’s holiday evening and you’ve got a problem: an unhappy partner and an unhappy you. For pain sufferers – it’s a battle of pain vs. pleasure. It’s not sexual dysfunction or malfunction –it is simple back pain or neck pain. For those who dearly want to have the fire in their romance again…without the pain, some local physicians share their insight on winning pleasure over pain.

“Couples can learn various relaxation techniques to deal with discomfort more effectively. What is truly best is that a person with pain can discuss the problem with their partner and learn the limitations of their capability as well as understand the emotional trauma going on in anyone experiencing pain,” said local sex therapist and licensed psychotherapist, Mary D. Lutzo, Ph.D., LMHC.

As uncomfortable as it might sound to discuss sexual positioning or pain issues in the “love department” with your doctor, it is absolutely vital and completely welcomed. “Patients are asked to complete a questionnaire, which includes a query regarding comfort during sex. We encourage our patients to discuss this with us because we can review exercises and valuable information that can help them regain a normal, blissful intimate relationship with their partners,” said Pain Relief Centers’ medical director, Charles K. Friedman, D.O.

Not only should communication be key with your physician but it should also be key in your relationship as well, according to Dr. Lutzo. “People also have to recognize that when someone is taking medications on pain management, this has strong influence on desire and mood,” she said. Both partners - one experiencing pain and one not, need to be aware of these effects. “The partner can’t expect the one in pain to spontaneously respond to sexual advances,” said Dr. Lutzo. Having this conversation with your partner is crucial to keeping a relationship strong and sizzling.

Dr. Lutzo suggests planning intimate meetings, discussing times and days when the pain may be less apparent or when that partner is feeling more flexible. Other easy options are to experience intimacy with a warm bath or shower to relieve discomfort of the pain. “There has to be a comfort level for the individual before they can respond to advances of their lover,” said Dr. Lutzo.

Let’s get physical

“Understanding your condition and which positions bring on symptoms or alleviate them is important,” said Dr. Friedman, “Spine conditions or injuries can be categorized by what kinds of movements make symptoms worse and this information can be used to guide the selection of sexual positions.” According to Dr. Friedman, strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can do wonders as well. Not only do strong, flexible pelvic floor muscles enhance sexual function – it improves the spine as well. “Pelvic floor muscles are part of the core support system balancing out posture for the body and muscle use,” said Dr. Friedman. Abdominal and lower back work-outs can improve pain as well.

For neck pain sufferers – any activity that causes you to hold your head too far back, bent to the side or bent too far forward puts stress on the muscles, ligaments and joints of your neck and can create neck pain. “This is typically experienced through normal daily functions like sleeping or sitting at a desk in front of a computer but it is the same for sex. The easiest solution is to keep your neck in a natural position,” said Dr. Friedman. Another suggestion Dr. Friedman offers is the crafty use of pillows or cushions – using these to stabilize, support or balance your neck and back to a comfortable position during romance. “There are specially-designed cervical cushions or neck pillows if you are on your side or back that can create the much-needed support,” he said.

What about the partner without the pain?

Dr. Lutzo explains that a relationship can be very strong but the partner without the pain may be afraid to approach the other because they fear hurting them or inflicting more severe pain to their partner during intercourse and this may cause a wedge in the relationship. “Intimacy doesn’t always have to be intercourse,” said Dr. Lutzo. She suggests lying together, showing affection, caressing each other and reassurance to that partner so they “feel whole again.” This creates for an open-dialogue in the relationship and avoids fears and feelings of rejection or neglect.

Be sure to consult your pain management physician or psychotherapist for further information, assuring that sex is safe for your condition physically and emotionally.

About Pain Relief Centers:

Pain Relief Centers are multi-specialty practices that use a combination of innovative and minimally invasive treatments that help relieve patients’ pain and improve their quality of life. Pain Relief Centers’ Board-Certified physicians utilize advanced technology and interventional therapies to diagnose and treat pain effectively. Pain Relief Centers’ comprehensive approach ranges from osteopathic manipulation and nerve ablation to minimally invasive spine procedures. Pain Relief Centers treat a variety of conditions such as neck and arm pain, back and leg pain, complex regional pain syndrome, degenerative disc disease, failed back syndrome, herniated discs, and spinal stenosis. Pain Relief Centers works with patients to improve their pain and return them back to their busy lives.

Visithttp://www.pinellaspain.com/or call 727-518-8660 for more information.

About Mary D. Lutzo, Ph.D., LMHC

Located in Saint Petersburg, FL,Dr. Lutzo is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Board Certified Sex Therapist. She has been designated a Fellow of the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists (FAACS), is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and is a Professor in the doctoral program at the American Academy of Clinical Sexology. For more than 20 years, Dr. Lutzo worked at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center in clinical practice, education and administration. She is a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA). After moving to Florida shecompleted a Post-Graduate Fellowship in Clinical Sexology.

Visithttp://www.drmarylutzo.com/ or call 727-896-LOVE (5683) for more information.

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